What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 17.06.2025 04:27
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
She married twice! .
What are the withdrawal symptoms of Klonopin 1mg?
I said to her
I was seconnd youngest,
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
What is something you want to "get off your chest"?
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
How did you become popular in school?
When she asked me how she looked .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
My life is so biszare .
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I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
What are some funny and smart quotes?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Did you know that we white women prefer Black boyfriends?
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
And i lived it daily.
How do teachers justify punishing a student for fighting back against their bullies?
On the 31st of Jan this month .
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Who then, do I blame.?
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Is there a band whose members have been present for every one of their concerts?
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I could never make a relationship work though!
What legal actions can be taken if a neighbor's unleashed dog causes harm or injury?
(And it was in our own minds.)
So, i spoilt her more .
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
How do I explain to my husband that my 19-year-old son has accidentally gotten me pregnant?
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Im still living with it.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
She found it foreign!.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
He knew the spot.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
One cannot live in the past .
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I never cut or harmed myself..
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
So whats the point in blame.
We were not on the streets..
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
It was going to be , some day.
But, we were locked up after school.
I write beautiful poetry .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I was 9 years of age.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
She wouldn,t have been !
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I waited trembling.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I was scared of men, in general
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Especially a lifetime of it.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
What did i know ?
I have no regrets .
Would this be the day?
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
My family never makes their pension either.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
We all went to grammer schools
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I don,t even have a pension.
She was in good health!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Put me off passion for life!!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
But ive been too sick for many years..
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Ive learnt so much.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
She loved him until the end.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
He was dying to do it , i knew.
This is soul school!.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
As i do to all so called friends.?
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
All the time i was locked up.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I couldn’t, believe it.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Comes on , in middle age.
I was very sick at this time too.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I will be 64.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Was to survive, this bastard.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
But it wasn’t much.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I think the readers, may guess!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.